Up with the chickens and off to get my early morning cardio in. Have officially reduced my work schedule. Time to tighten the purse strings and my body... really focused on getting fit and strong again and sticking with a regular exercise and diet routine. Have almost cut out drinking, except for weekend 1-2 glasses of wine. Yay me!! Processing so many options for the future but okay living in today, uncertain about my next step and making the best of what is...

Peace out.

I've let cobwebs grow on this blog... but let's try and turn that around now, shall we?



Mark has been gone for 9 months... in fact, now I can say he died "last year". Strange - because time has simultaneously been frozen and moved at lightening speed since he left. I am trying, working towards, struggling to, accept the loss. The new "we" that is my family... trying to fight the urgency inside me to run, hide and "fix" the broken pieces. It is an uphill battle.



Things that make me smile and feel good... spending real time with my children, connecting with people, being loved and sharing love, being touched and feeling feminine and alive, exercising and moving my body, eating well and not abusing food, not abusing alcohol, sleeping enough, taking time out to tell people how I feel, stopping long enough to know how I feel, being home in my jammies, feeling beautiful and whole and good enough.



Journaling has always helped me connect. And I will try to be a more consistent blogger.