I've let cobwebs grow on this blog... but let's try and turn that around now, shall we?



Mark has been gone for 9 months... in fact, now I can say he died "last year". Strange - because time has simultaneously been frozen and moved at lightening speed since he left. I am trying, working towards, struggling to, accept the loss. The new "we" that is my family... trying to fight the urgency inside me to run, hide and "fix" the broken pieces. It is an uphill battle.



Things that make me smile and feel good... spending real time with my children, connecting with people, being loved and sharing love, being touched and feeling feminine and alive, exercising and moving my body, eating well and not abusing food, not abusing alcohol, sleeping enough, taking time out to tell people how I feel, stopping long enough to know how I feel, being home in my jammies, feeling beautiful and whole and good enough.



Journaling has always helped me connect. And I will try to be a more consistent blogger.