Running Away

I finally got Mark to go to the hospital today to get hydrated... but the effort and the whole week just took a monumental toll on me physically and emotionally. Today I seemed to be drowning... desparately wanting to run away from it all. From Mark, from the cancer, from sickness and helplessness. I felt completely frozen, paralyzed... it just became too much. And I handled that in the only way I knew how. I yelled a little, tuned out a lot, ate until my belly ached and then curled up in a fetal position... Thankfully, my mother rescued me and the children midway through the day and got us all out to the pool. I felt so good watching their smiling faces splashing and having fun and being out in the world. We've spent so much time in the house since Mark's diagnosis and it was great to just get up and go somewhere. I'm very, very grateful for my mother's presence today. It made a huge difference for me and for the kids.

What I'm proud of today:
Fresh juice: kale, rainbow swiss chard, lemon and apple (Maia spilt half of this on the floor)
Swimming with the kids
Meditation (15 min before bed)

Maia's food:
7 oz raw milk
1 large banana
Fresh juice: kale, carrot, apple
NAP
7 oz raw milk
a few pretzels (out shopping)
Pureed squash, brown rice, carrots, peas and chicken
7 oz raw milk
whole apple (skin and all - she enjoyed chomping on that!)
1/4 banana
1/4 sweet potato
7 oz raw milk