Chemotherapy

Ordinarily, what would you say if I told you that every other Monday, I watch my smart, able husband voluntarily drive his car to a place where someone inserts a tube into his vein and poisons him for a period of 3 days? Poisons him so ruthlessly that the blood drains from his body leaving him a shade of pure white mixed with some light green? 24 hours later, his face turns a hot, flush red and swells and his fingertips go numb? Wait... there's more. You see the pain and suffering continues for at least another 7 days. After the 3 days of poisoning are over, then he barely has the strength to get out of bed other than for several long trips to the bathroom (30-45 minutes each) which exhaust his weakened body further? But wait... there's more. He can barely swallow anything - even a simple drink of water is impossible (even after warming it in the microwave so the cold doesn't make him feel like he's choking), and his lips are permanently curled into a position of pure nausea and disgust. Food? Forget food. Yesterday's bounty? He ate one orange and a small bowl of canned peaches.

And why does he do this? Because the doctors say it's good for him. Because the doctors, after many years of arduous research, don't know what causes cancer, how fast it grows, or how to get rid of it. So they cut it out, and poison the entire body hoping to kill what's left behind. No, this isn't the seventeenth century. This is modern medicine. Or should I say modern drug company paradise - filled with obedient white coats with fat pockets. America the beautiful. Put on your blinders and keep paying - pay the insurers, pay the drug companies. They run the damn country don't you know... Pay for accupuncture or a nutritionist to help with disease? Pay for whole, organic food and herbal supplements? NEVER. But pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for poison pills? Our pleasure. Keep taking them, keep getting sicker, and let the cash keep rolling in....

Sometimes I feel like I'm drowning in Mark's suffering. Like there's no space to breathe. No way to escape. Those are the times I dream of running... running somewhere safe and warm and beautiful. Some place... any place... but here.

What I'm proud of today:
Fresh juice: carrots, apples and rainbow swiss chard
30 min elliptical, squats on bosu ball

Maia's food today:
7 oz raw milk
fresh juice: rainbow swiss chard, carrots and apples
1/2 banana
NAP
sweet potato with plain yogurt and applesauce
7 oz raw milk
NAP
fresh juice: apple
mixed cereal with 1/2 banana
finger foods in restaurant
7 oz raw milk